Why Do I Write

I oft wondered, as I bookmarked one blog after the other on my Chrome browser, about the copious amount of information online to read, let alone to digest – who will read them? What if no one sees it? What if it’s just another assortment of words and shenanigans accumulating on the servers of the mighty internet? Why would anyone even care?

Years ago I shared a quote with my friend that happened to be from Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. The quote being, “You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”

I didn’t know about the story back then. Nor was I familiar with the Fox and the Little Prince. I didn’t understand the quote until recently I came across a blog post I could relate to and that was able to establish a connection with. The blog post is written by Todd Foley in which he explained the conversation between the Fox and the Little Prince. Now, it’s a priceless conversation that finally dawned on me when Mr. Foley explained – quoting an excerpt from the blog post:

To tame something means you’re investing time and energy in order to know it better. When this is achieved, you and this other thing become forever intertwined.

Mr. Foley further wrote how he is releasing a part of himself to people who are total strangers and how through “intentional reading and sharing of materials, I’ve found myself ‘tamed’ by literary strangers. It influences me in my own pursuits and motivates me to keep at it. To keep writing when I feel no motivation or that I have nothing worthwhile to share.”

I know how I spent hours and hours online, agonizing over a particular question in mind only to find solace in a blog post or an op-ed or or a website dedicated to reaching out to anyone who wants to learn. I’m among those readers where a potential post or an article has the ability to keep me inspired, help me make decisions and broader this vision of mine to be able to understand the many perspectives of a single story. I come across blogs dated ages ago or written recently, all of them being special and extremely resourceful. I owe so much to the blogs and tutorials online that got me through my homework during my engineering course. That got me through university. Not to mention even the plainest of words being an immense source of comfort in good and bad days alike. Knowing that someone has something familiar to say or an idea that resonates with you on many levels and how we neatly connect with people we sense a relation to – forming a close knit network of  people and friends. Falling and clicking right into place.

Remember that there’s someone out there waiting for words to relate to, anything that makes sense. And we need to get your words to them. The most wonderful feeling in the world is the feeling of relation. Not everyone will get what you say but someone will and that someone is the person who needs it the most.  – Tania Umar

Maybe these posts won’t be opened till a decade later or maybe they might not ever be read. But I’m writing all the same. Here’s to all those people for writing, sharing and posting, and making sense of the days when it just didn’t happen on its own.

References

You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed by Todd Foley

Advertisements

The Beginning

I never thought that I would be up this late and I would sit down on my desk to write. I had pictured this moment way too many times but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was afraid to write. I was afraid to start. Starting is scary. It takes a lot out of you and it asks a lot of you to do that. So what is different today that made me come to a place which I only fantasized about and about which I only wrote down that I would do in my To Do list? What was it that compelled me to stay focused about this task despite the fact that I would, right now, more than anything like to sleep and close my eyes after a long long day at the university?

The fact remains, and the story’s the same: it was a simple decision. I am going to write. I am going to start. And today is the first day of it all.

University is all about projects and deadlines, well at least where I am currently enrolled in. Exams are held three times in one semester and a load of projects are unleashed on us. So it is crazy trying to balance the homework, the classes, cram a bit of sleep in between, forget a couple of birthdays and getting a hundred different people mad at you for not calling them back or being too busy trying to make it right in university. In my third semester, I went downhill. I was scared. I thought I couldn’t do this. I thought engineering is not what I can do whether I wanted to or not. My exams were horrible, I would go home and not study: obviously there’s fatigue from the ten different classes you attend in one day. I would then cram a couple of hours before exam. Looking back, I had time when I was home, even half a day was enough but I never picked up my books on time.

I was afraid. I was unsure. I was scared of the daunting task of a homework that would just pile up on my desk and tending to it would mean that I am not going to get out of it anytime soon. It would mean that there is no completing it until the deadline is breathing right down on my neck. Only then, would I panic and pick up my screaming homework to cram it all down or produce it on paper. And of course, the results would be dull and I would be left feeling like rubbish. Knowing that I could have done better but I didn’t. Knowing I could have done it yet it’s still unfinished. Knowing that I would have been able to conquer it in a day but I let it stretch over the week and dragged it on till the deadline screamed in my face.

Hey, there are times when you are tired and you have rubbed your nose raw – what do you do? You take a break. You break the pattern. But that is another story for another day. However the vital point of the story I want to tell you is when you have the potential just sleeping inside of you and you are just procrastinating for the heck of it because you’re not brave enough to face your task, I have a simple thing to say, do it.

Get up. Start. No matter how bad of a start it is, how poor, just begin.
Startings are scary. Startings can be daunting. So be brave and pick that laptop up and begin your assignment, or your copy or your book or whatever your task is. And conquer it.

Too many could haves, would haves, should haves did no one much good. Leave them behind and go on.

The beginning is always today.

Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797 – 1851)