The Beginning

I never thought that I would be up this late and I would sit down on my desk to write. I had pictured this moment way too many times but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was afraid to write. I was afraid to start. Starting is scary. It takes a lot out of you and it asks a lot of you to do that. So what is different today that made me come to a place which I only fantasized about and about which I only wrote down that I would do in my To Do list? What was it that compelled me to stay focused about this task despite the fact that I would, right now, more than anything like to sleep and close my eyes after a long long day at the university?

The fact remains, and the story’s the same: it was a simple decision. I am going to write. I am going to start. And today is the first day of it all.

University is all about projects and deadlines, well at least where I am currently enrolled in. Exams are held three times in one semester and a load of projects are unleashed on us. So it is crazy trying to balance the homework, the classes, cram a bit of sleep in between, forget a couple of birthdays and getting a hundred different people mad at you for not calling them back or being too busy trying to make it right in university. In my third semester, I went downhill. I was scared. I thought I couldn’t do this. I thought engineering is not what I can do whether I wanted to or not. My exams were horrible, I would go home and not study: obviously there’s fatigue from the ten different classes you attend in one day. I would then cram a couple of hours before exam. Looking back, I had time when I was home, even half a day was enough but I never picked up my books on time.

I was afraid. I was unsure. I was scared of the daunting task of a homework that would just pile up on my desk and tending to it would mean that I am not going to get out of it anytime soon. It would mean that there is no completing it until the deadline is breathing right down on my neck. Only then, would I panic and pick up my screaming homework to cram it all down or produce it on paper. And of course, the results would be dull and I would be left feeling like rubbish. Knowing that I could have done better but I didn’t. Knowing I could have done it yet it’s still unfinished. Knowing that I would have been able to conquer it in a day but I let it stretch over the week and dragged it on till the deadline screamed in my face.

Hey, there are times when you are tired and you have rubbed your nose raw – what do you do? You take a break. You break the pattern. But that is another story for another day. However the vital point of the story I want to tell you is when you have the potential just sleeping inside of you and you are just procrastinating for the heck of it because you’re not brave enough to face your task, I have a simple thing to say, do it.

Get up. Start. No matter how bad of a start it is, how poor, just begin.
Startings are scary. Startings can be daunting. So be brave and pick that laptop up and begin your assignment, or your copy or your book or whatever your task is. And conquer it.

Too many could haves, would haves, should haves did no one much good. Leave them behind and go on.

The beginning is always today.

Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (1797 – 1851)